What To Do When You Feel Unloved

Posted by Farrah Lollis on

What to do when you feel unloved
Hey Girl,
I was scrolling through Instagram when I saw a young girl's post saying that no one cares about the tears she sheds at 3am. I was heartbroken and felt compelled to leave a comment about how I'm here for her and will lend a listening ear whenever she needs. I'm not sure whether or not she believed me, but I meant every word. I honestly know what it feels like to feel unloved, unwanted and unnecessary. This was actually one of the biggest inspirations behind me starting Enjoy Your Life Blog.
 
In the song I wrote as the intro to my podcast (Click the link to listen), I start out by saying, "I know what it's like to feel alone, surrounded by people but feel so broke." It's easy to feel as though you don't matter, even when there are plenty of people around you physically. The enemy obviously knows how loved we are by God and how essential we are to His work, so of course he will do his best to make us feel as though no one loves us or cares. 
Since this is such a major issue and we all feel like this sometimes, I want to encourage you with these 4 things you can do when you're feeling unloved. These are all things I've tried and have seen great results. I hope it helps!
 
1. Log Off of Social Media
Sometimes we all need a break from the hustle and bustle of the internet.  I'm not saying to delete your social profiles, but sometimes you need to just get rid of the app. One thing I've noticed is that we tend to feel lonely because there are so many people who have access to us, that when no one is "hitting us up" we can start to feel unwanted. I took a break from social media altogether for one year and it showed me who my REAL friends were. Although that wasn't my reason behind deleting everything, it really taught me something valuable. We tend to feel as though lack of likes, comments or people slllllliding through our DMs means that we're not good, cute or cool enough to be loved by anyone and that's just not true. In the same token, people throwing likes all over the place, commenting OD (over dosing on comments) or messaging you all the time doesn't mean that actually like you for YOU. Take a step back my dear and put things in perspective from time to time, you'll see things for what they truly are. 
 
2. Give Love Out Like Popsicles on A Hot Summer Day
I have found that sometimes when you feel like you need to be loved, simply giving some can bless you too. It's interesting right? It could be the smile on a person's face when you spread love to them, it could be the blessing that they give in return, it may even be the rewarding satisfaction you get from knowing that someone felt the way you felt, and you turned that upside down. Just knowing that you're capable of showing love to a person is a blessing . Give it a shot, look for NOTHING in return and see if that doesn't encourage you.
 
3. Love On Yourself
When I started writing this blog, I didn't even consider the fat that Valentines Day is just days away, and people are probably going to be feeling reeeallllyyyyy unlovable so with that in mind, hopefully this tip will come in handy. Loving on yourself could mean taking yourself to a nice restaurant and enjoying en exquisite meal, it could mean taking a nice bubble bath with candle light and worship music playing in the background (and if you're like me, also the bible app with the voice that reads to you...it's soothing, don't judge). It could also mean simply allowing yourself to be yourself and accepting all that you are, the flaws, the achievements, the areas in which you need to improve, etc. Sometimes we tend to wait for someone else to come alone and love on us when all we need to do is take a look in the mirror and do it ourselves. 
 
4. Ask God to Fill Your Heart
Often times when we are feeling unloved, there is a serious detachment between our hearts and God's. He is the number one supplier of love, so much so that I John 4:8 says that He literally IS love. I have learned that our hearts are full when we are overwhelming it with the love of Christ. Spend time with God in prayer (despite your urge to scroll through your contacts searching for someone to talk to), read His word and ask Him to overtake your heart with a love that only He can give.
 
You may not need this information today, and hopefully you wont anytime soon, but it's here for you to take in and apply when you are feeling down. Let me know how it goes!
 
I love you and God loves you!
 
XOXO,
- FARRAH LARAÉ

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