Rejection is hard. I'm pretty sure everyone in the world either has or will at some point have to face it. It's not fun, it can often leave us feeling unwanted, undesirable and make us question whether or not we're "good enough". I know countless amounts of people who have felt as though they weren't good enough after being rejected by someone they actually had feelings for, myself included. There are so many different thoughts that can cross a person's mind when they come to a point in which it seems that they're simply not enough for the person they're after.
Just to be clear, this blog is not based on a recent encounter of mine with a guy rejecting me. My reason for writing this is because I've spoke with young ladies who have and I wanted to offer solutions on how I did recover in the past. If you've recently been rejected by someone or have yet to recover from a long old heartbreak, I have some solutions for you. Now, I want to bid you fair warning that these methods are not going to work overnight so if you're searching for an easy fix, this isn't the blog for you. It will take time, consistency and commitment to yourself in order to move on from something l ike this. I would also like to tell you that these methods are not absolutely guaranteed to work. Every person is different, we all heal differently in our own way and most importantly in our own time. I hope these help you in one way or another. Regardless, I'm praying for you!
1. Don't Play The Blame Game
The first thing you want to remember after being rejected is that you are not responsible for what has just occurred. A lot of times we want to play the blame game and put ourselves down because things didn't work out. It's important to realize that everyone is different. We all have different preferences that were developed based on our upbringing, passed relationships, personal heartbreaks, mental roadblocks and more. When a person rejects you, chooses someone else over you, leaves you, cheats on you or simply treats you bad, this may not necessarily be a result of your behavior, looks or lack thereof. That person may have a very valid, but difficult to explain reason as to why they didn't "chose" you. Either way, don't let it get to you.
2. Give Yourself Time To Heal
Do not, I repeat DO NOT seek out a rebound to accompany you now that the person you ACTUALLY like is gone. This is a very dangerous game to play my friend. It starts out just as conversation, then you actually kinda-sorta start to develop feelings for this person who you know you don't really want and things just go downhill from there. The whole time, they're genuinely investing in you only for you to turn around and do to them exactly what was done to you. Did you purposely break this person's heart? Absolutely not, but by the time you're finally healed and freed up in your heart, you're ready to be alone or someone else catches you're attention and you leave this person behind. Instead, give yourself a fair amount of time to heal, and be honest with yourself! If you know you're not ready to pursue, entertain or appreciate someone new, THEN DON'T! People will often try to convince you to move on and push you into something you don't truly want, don't let them! At the end of the day you're the one who's emotions will be in a twist, not theirs. Do what's best for you and wait.
3. Reflect On What Happened
It's totally fine to reflect on the situation and evaluate it in full. Some might say not to think about it, but I believe that it's healthy to be able to reminisce and take inventory. Don't CONSUME yourself with it to the point where you're going crazy, but don't be afraid to think things over to give yourself the closure you need.
4. Love Yourself
The number one thing to remember is that you are such an amazing, strong, beautiful, inspiring person and anything that doesn't work out in your life, especially when it comes to relationships, just isn't supposed to. the Bible says that ALL things work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to His purpose (Romans 8:28). Don't allow this situation to keep you for loving yourself the way you should. It's going to sound super cliche, but God has someone so special for you that He's preparing the same way He's been preparing you. Allow God to continue molding you into the person you're supposed to be so that when YOUR person does come, you're more than enough for them and you never have to feel the way you did when *insert the heartbreaker's name here* broke your heart.
- FARRAH LARAÉ